Choupette’s Diary – Choupettes Diary

Choupette’s Diary: Guide to Mating and Dating in the Modern Age

April, 16^th

As invites stream in for previews, galas, and spring fêtes, the dreaded plus one on the RSVP card seems daunting. Don’t spend your Friday night indulging in cake, which will only induce a sugar coma. Instead, indulge in man-candy; it has less calories.

In the modern tech-age, it’s not enough to just bat your pretty blues and fluff your fur. Today, the dating scene can be more complicated than the Met Gala dress code.

While I may be a feline, I am no stranger to being courted. Dapper lynx and wildcats regular slide into my DM’s asking for a date. For the most part, I avoid the gents who use social media to woo me, but with the loss of Daddy I have had more time to dip my paw into the dating pool.

Through the years watching the humans around me date, I’ve learned that most don’t know how to win at what they call the “dating game”. Their first mistake is addressing it as a “game”; a game insinuates that there will be a winner and loser but when looking for love, there shouldn’t be a loser. Dating without attributing it to being a “game” will change you mindset.

Changing your dating mindset also starts with addressing your “list”. We all have predisposed ideas of who our perfect partner will or should be. Whether these ideas of perfection stem from friends, family, or the media, we are taught to find somebody who checks off all our boxes.

Tall? Check!

Chiseled jaw line? Check!

Sense of humor? Double Check!

When we hold tight to this “list” we lose sight of the individual who might not be perfect but is purrrfect for us.

So how do you find this purrrfect match? It’s about addressing how you are meeting potential partners, understanding the type you tend to gravitate towards, and knowing how you personally approach dating.

How you are meeting potential matches, whether it be through online dating or through blind set-ups, is the initial step in understanding what works best for you. If you’ve previously tried online dating and find no luck, encourage friends or family to help you in your stalking. Excuse moi; I mean hunt. Switching up how you are meeting others might be the best way to shake things up.

Next, understanding your “type” will give you insight into why previous partners haven’t worked out in the past. Again, this comes down to your “list”. Is this list limiting the type of people you’re dating and if so, are you willing to do a 180 and consider dating outside of the box?

I’m not saying if you typically date models to suddenly court rocket scientists. Let’s not be drastic! Just consider dating outside of your typical type, whether that means the new potential partner looks physically different or has differing personality characteristics. There are as many different breeds of men as there are felines out there so explore your possibilities.

The final step in reevaluating your romantic life is to be more perceptive as to how you personally approach dating. Your approach covers everything from how you dress to how you converse; all of which can make or break a date.

On a first date you should:

Dress the Part — The less you wear, the less-quality of men you’ll attract. Sensuality isn’t in direct relation to how much skin you show.

Wear Confidence Like an Accessory — Be approachable with a smile and exude self-confidence. Human men typically pick-up on simple social cues like a smile, but your body language must engage but not appear stand-off.

Peacock Your Personality — Don’t be afraid to participate in witty banter. Show your playful yet intelligent side with a smidgen of satire and a dash of flirtation. A date is not an interrogation but a conversation where each are getting to know the other on a more personal level.

Now that I’ve given you the basic tools you need to change your relationship mindset, set a date, strap on those stilettos, and set your sights on a soulmate.

[Illustrator: Monica Smiley, eighty seventh st.]

Choupette’s Diary: Guide to Being a Girlboss

March, 30^th

Today, “Girlboss” is a buzz-word among young female professionals and a label used to best describe women in power. It all started with the original Girlboss, Sophia Amoruso and today is a widespread term used to label female humans who are taking charge of both their personal and career lives, making a name for themself in their specialized industries.

Being a Girlboss means different things to different humans but to moi, this woman is an empowered individual who sets her sight on a goal, achieves that goal, and then takes it to new levels. While I may not be a human Girlboss, I consider myself to be the feline equivalent. The only difference is that I can be a power woman even with a few (dozen) catnaps thrown in between.

In honor of my fellow female leaders for Women’s Month, What Goes Around Comes Around hosted a “Power Panel” last week featuring a line-up of successful women, including Choupette Social Girl (AKA Ashley Tschudin). Fellow panelists included Grace Murray, VP of Fohr, April Mokwa, Managing Editor of Fast Company, Sterling McDavid, Co-Founder & President of Burnett New York, Joiee Thorpe, Celebrity & Editorial Fashion Stylist, and Mandi Meng, VP Marketing & Communication for WGACA. These dynamic dahhhlings discussed everything from female empowerment and career success to power dressing. Because let’s be honest, every Girlboss feels her most powerful when dressed her best!

Girlboss Tips from WGACA Panelists:

Grace Murray, VP of Fohr, on her first job and lessons learned from it:
“I worked casually in hospitality for nearly ten years – some amazing jobs & some terrible ones. A lot of people barely notice their servers or bartenders, but it is a tough job to be good at and when I see someone nailing the delicate-but-rapid-expectation-dance that it is, my first instinct is to hire them.

One important lesson was learning how to play both sides of the fence to get things done as quickly & happily as possible. You don’t tell a customer who’s ordering a well done steak that they’re an idiot, but that’s exactly what the chef will want you to do, & likely make you feel like one too for putting the order in as if it was NBD. I learned to tell the customer it was no problem, and to deliver the order to the chef with an eye roll to make it feel like I was on their team & the customer sucked. That may sound disingenuous but working with other people and paying customers often means competing priorities & personalities, & sometimes being able to get it done means figuring out how to make everyone feel heard, understood, and as though you’re on their team. This is like a step before picking your battles: it’s avoiding being shot as the messenger via subtle chameleon-ing.”

April Mokwa, Managing Editor of Fast Company, on the best advice she’s been given by a woman she admires:

“I wouldn’t necessarily call this the most valuable advice but it is something that I’m really trying to put into practice. Fran Hauser talks about the bad habit of women over-apologizing, especially in the workplace, in her book The Myth of the Nice Girl and I realized how often I did that myself as a default reaction for things that weren’t actually in need of an apology. Her suggestion was to rephrase the default “sorry” with “thank you” instead. For instance instead of, “sorry for the delay,” saying “thank you for the reminder” or “thank you for being patient.” It’s a simple transition but takes the unnecessary “weakness” out of your vocabulary.”

Amy Choi, Head of Partnerships at ShopStyle, on what empowerment and success mean to her:

“I believe empowerment and success go hand in hand. There are two parts of the equation (1) you and (2) your environment. One is empowering yourself to really go after your goal. In addition, changing your mindset that you can achieve anything and speak up with your thoughts and ideas (& even questions!) The second piece of the equation – which I think is equally if not more important – is having true support of people around you, and them empowering you to put your best self forward. It is the combination of the two that I think can help fuel growth in the mind – professionally and personally – resulting in success. Definitely who you surround yourself with matters. Make sure it’s people who make you better!”

Sterling McDavid, Co-Founder & President of Burnett New York, on her most important tip for women on how to progress in leadership positions:

“My tip would be support other women and lift other women up and you will see that what goes around comes around! It is so important for all of us to support one another for more progress. We are in this together and can achieve more by working as a team.”

Joiee Thorpe, Celebrity & Editorial Fashion Stylist, on having one must-have piece as a young professional in their work wardrobe:

“A power blazer is the perfect essential for s young professional because even when paired with jeans you look like a boss! Minimal & tailored clothing makes me feel very professional.”

Mandi Meng, VP Marketing & Communications for What Goes Around Comes Around, on what her go-to piece for feeling her best and most powerful wearing is:

“I feel empowered when I feel like myself, and when I am comfortable in my own skin. Overall, I think people focus too much on what’s ‘on-trend’ or what other people think, instead of what makes them feel good, regardless of the price, style, or ensemble they are wearing. Personally, my go-to power outfit formula is to pair a patterned midi or maxi dress with a vintage blazer (Chanel is my favorite, of course), ankle boots, layered gold jewelry, and a killer handbag (usually also Chanel, but FINALLY got my first Hermes bag, so I will be carrying that non-stop).”

Choupette’s Diary: A Guide to Giving Back

March, 20^th

Following the passing of Daddy Karl Lagerfeld there was a lot of speculation as to his estate plan. From what chateau I would live in, to how much money I was set to inherit, humans waited with bated breath.

With tears streaming from my baby blues, I desperately wanted the questions of my personal finance to stop. While I have made much of my life public on @ChoupettesDiary, these questions were not ones simple for me to answer nor were they always asked with the kindest intent. For humans asking without ill-will and with a pure heart, I am taking it day by day and putting one paw in front of the other.

Once I wiped away the tears and read your messages of love and support, I realized that I had an opportunity to give back. Not all animals live a life as fortunate as I do and with Daddy looking over me from above, I wanted to make him proud. With this newly-found confidence, I launched the RIP Daddy collection with the intention of raising funds and awareness for the Helen Woodward Animal Center.

A portion of the proceeds from select #RIPDaddy collection items will be donated to the @hwac. I chose this private non-profit organization because of their 40-year commitment to people helping animals and animals helping people. Located on 12 acres in Rancho Santa Fe, California, their nationally recognized Center provides a variety of services that benefit the community through educational and therapeutic programs for people, and humane care and adoption for animals.

Whether you shop the RIP Daddy collection, want to make a direct donation to the center, or choose to volunteer, there are many ways to get involved:

Shop the RIP Daddy Collection

Make a Direct Donation

Join the Campaign for Caring

Become a Business Buddy

Donate Goods

Donate a Vehicle

Volunteer

Be a Pet Foster Parent

Become a Paw Partner

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