As invites stream in for previews, galas, and spring fêtes, the dreaded plus one on the RSVP card seems daunting. Don’t spend your Friday night indulging in cake, which will only induce a sugar coma. Instead, indulge in man-candy; it has less calories.
In the modern tech-age, it’s not enough to just bat your pretty blues and fluff your fur. Today, the dating scene can be more complicated than the Met Gala dress code.
While I may be a feline, I am no stranger to being courted. Dapper lynx and wildcats regular slide into my DM’s asking for a date. For the most part, I avoid the gents who use social media to woo me, but with the loss of Daddy I have had more time to dip my paw into the dating pool.
Through the years watching the humans around me date, I’ve learned that most don’t know how to win at what they call the “dating game”. Their first mistake is addressing it as a “game”; a game insinuates that there will be a winner and loser but when looking for love, there shouldn’t be a loser. Dating without attributing it to being a “game” will change you mindset.
Changing your dating mindset also starts with addressing your “list”. We all have predisposed ideas of who our perfect partner will or should be. Whether these ideas of perfection stem from friends, family, or the media, we are taught to find somebody who checks off all our boxes.
Chiseled jaw line? Check!
Sense of humor? Double Check!
When we hold tight to this “list” we lose sight of the individual who might not be perfect but is purrrfect for us.
So how do you find this purrrfect match? It’s about addressing how you are meeting potential partners, understanding the type you tend to gravitate towards, and knowing how you personally approach dating.
How you are meeting potential matches, whether it be through online dating or through blind set-ups, is the initial step in understanding what works best for you. If you’ve previously tried online dating and find no luck, encourage friends or family to help you in your stalking. Excuse moi; I mean hunt. Switching up how you are meeting others might be the best way to shake things up.
Next, understanding your “type” will give you insight into why previous partners haven’t worked out in the past. Again, this comes down to your “list”. Is this list limiting the type of people you’re dating and if so, are you willing to do a 180 and consider dating outside of the box?
I’m not saying if you typically date models to suddenly court rocket scientists. Let’s not be drastic! Just consider dating outside of your typical type, whether that means the new potential partner looks physically different or has differing personality characteristics. There are as many different breeds of men as there are felines out there so explore your possibilities.
The final step in reevaluating your romantic life is to be more perceptive as to how you personally approach dating. Your approach covers everything from how you dress to how you converse; all of which can make or break a date.
On a first date you should:
Dress the Part — The less you wear, the less-quality of men you’ll attract. Sensuality isn’t in direct relation to how much skin you show.
Wear Confidence Like an Accessory — Be approachable with a smile and exude self-confidence. Human men typically pick-up on simple social cues like a smile, but your body language must engage but not appear stand-off.
Peacock Your Personality — Don’t be afraid to participate in witty banter. Show your playful yet intelligent side with a smidgen of satire and a dash of flirtation. A date is not an interrogation but a conversation where each are getting to know the other on a more personal level.
Now that I’ve given you the basic tools you need to change your relationship mindset, set a date, strap on those stilettos, and set your sights on a soulmate.
[Illustrator: Monica Smiley, eighty seventh st.]